Can it really be over two years since my last blog post here???
Can hardly believe that much time has passed since I have put my thoughts to paper or screen. Two years is an infinitesimally long time and so much has happened.
So perhaps I should start not quite at the beginning!
So I’ve been single now for about 16 months, since the man I was “avidly” preparing for a future with, left in a pretty cowardly way. That is probably an entire blog post on its own! Suffice it to say we had a communication breakdown and then a fairly icy break up via Facebook Messenger! To be honest though all I felt at that point was relief. It had become a difficult relationship to maintain. I think I had also started to develop a nasty case simmering resentment at always being the one to pay for everything.
I have dedicated my life to being single working hard and taking care of my children over the last 12 months or so. Honestly, I believed that I was far too busy for a relationship. After all, How on earth could I fit dating into my incredibly busy schedule of work, ferrying the children to their various activities, my own dedicated sporting activities, and keeping a household? Despite this I made a decision in the last week or so to get back onto dating websites and send out the feelers again.
And so here I am, alone in bed at 11 pm after one of the most disastrous dates I’ve ever had! Never in the history of me going out with anybody has a man left a date at warp speed the way this guy did today! I guess I should be grateful he at least finished his beer before excusing himself. Whilst I’m trying very hard not to take it personally and feel left on the shelf, Unattractive, old and unwanted I am finding that quite a challenge. Which has taken me by surprise I must admit.
So we’d been chatting online for a few days and seemed to have a good rapport. But it seems that he was looking for immediate fireworks upon meeting and unfortunately he was disappointed. I just wonder if there isn’t a nicer way to say “thanks but no thanks”?
So now I am in the same quandary again. Do I stick at it? Do I stay online and keep plugging away, hoping that eventually someone will want me? Or do I just ignore the online world and interact with people in the real world and hope for Prince charming? Or do I just resigned myself to a life of singledom?
It’s not that I am exactly unhappy being single. To be honest, I find it quite liberating to be able to do what I want, go where I want, eat what I want, sleep how I want, etc without having to ask permission or inform someone of my movements. But I do admit to missing emotional and physical intimacy.
So, I guess, stay tuned for more adventures! Join me on the journey to see what happens next…
justmeraving 